my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
