Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
