I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
