You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
