Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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