I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
