she woke up with a sticky ear
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just found puke in my bra..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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