So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
