We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Randomize