Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Randomize
