I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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