he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize