I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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