Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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