If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
