Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize