I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
