Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it's like heaven, but drunker
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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