When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
