Ambien. No doubt about it.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
