this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
