I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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