i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
