I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Your cock deserves a montage
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
