Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
