it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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