you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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