Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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