If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
soo... how was my night?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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