at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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