She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize