wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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