I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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