U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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