Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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