I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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