Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
