Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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