I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize