They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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