I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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