I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
only you would photoshop your dick
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
