all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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