I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
