Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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