just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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