is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
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