i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
