guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
