It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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