Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Randomize
