I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
