Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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