Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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