Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
