i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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