Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
