No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize