Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize