i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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