I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
