there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
